Nine Twelve Two Thousand Nine

My husband doesn't find me attractive. He keeps pictures of other women on his computer. I wouldn't mind if it were porn or actresses, as they are paid to look good. No, these are women in real life; his "friends". These women are young and half naked all the time, so they are much more attractive to him. All these pictures of these women, and maybe one of me. And I look like a fat slob at that. He doesn't take pictures of me, cuddle with me, or have sex with me anymore. He told me that we're married so he has to look at me/have sex with me for the rest of his life anyway. So why bother trying to attract someone who obviously will never have eyes for only me anymore.

Nine Eleven Two Thousand Nine

His girlfriend called this morning and left a message. He’s such a fucking liar. He fucked that girl and probably got her pregnant. He treats me with such utter disdain and he’s so nice to other people. But I know the “real” him. Shit, if bitterness all there is to him, I prefer the fake everyone else is getting. I’m tired of him riding my coattails. I wish I could not care.